Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Mile Marker 10: Holding Off

I've wanted to post a blog on my desires for motherhood for a long time, but I just keep thinking that I shouldn't.  Whether its because I'm still very young, newly married, I have my whole life ahead of me, thinking that you don't blog about this kind of thing, thinking that this decision should be a secret, other people have a legitimate struggle, other people have been struggling longer, or a myriad of other thoughts rolling around in my head.

A lady at work told me recently that I'm not ready to have kids yet (I believe there are other issues there, but mostly I think she said it because of my age).

I've heard other married couples with kids say to wait because of the stress that is added after having kids.

I just know that my husband and I have had a solid relationship.  We were both raised in similar family situations.  We communicate with each other. We're getting our finances in order.  I know we're not perfect, but who is?

We've talked about kids for forever. We may or may not have names picked out already (I told you I'm a planner). We know how many we want (I'd probably still take more, but we'll see when we get there).  The thing is, I was only on the pill for 5 months, and I've been off the pill for 7 months now.  I just don't understand why I'm not pregnant yet.

I've done SO much reading online about pregnancy, the pill, how the pill effects getting pregnant, etc. Honestly, I never really wanted to take the pill, but I did thinking that we were going to wait a year or two before even talking about kids.  Then we got married.  A month later, I accidentally missed my birth control for a couple days.  We started talking about it.  Two months later I stopped taking the pill. Now, I just think I should be pregnant already.(The impatient bone bones in my body are going cray cray over here.)

I suppose (read as "I know") I just need to trust God that the timing will be His timing.

Why is waiting so hard?  Is there anything else that I could be doing, or should I just trust the bigger (and unknown to me) plan?

I don't really have any other choice but to wait right now.  

Maybe that's a good thing. 

Maybe I should learn something.


Notice:  What made me decide to write this post was simply the fact that I like reading blogs that are open and honest about real things because I find that I relate to those people.  I am hoping to be the same in my blog.  Also, I don't want this post to seem depressing because I am really happy with my life and I feel incredibly blessed to be in this season of life!  I just want to share the thoughts that I have in the hopes of sharing with a community of friends with similar thoughts or ideas or absolutely opposite ones! :) Capeesh? 


  1. Wow. This is so deep. We hope that you guys will be able to become pregnant if you feel ready. We've watched many of our married friends go through similar struggles. Will keep you guys in our prayers. Thanks for sharing! Xo, M&K at brewedtogether.com

    1. Thank you! :) We hope so too! I just have to keep trusting that the timing (whenever it is) will be the perfect timing! Thanks for reading and thank you for your prayers!