Thursday, May 30, 2013

Handling Disappointment

Well, I have some bad news to share.

I didn't get the job.  Boo.

I received an e-mail two days ago informing me of their decision to go with another candidate.  I was a mess of emotions.  The e-mail wasn't my favorite and not just because it was a rejection letter.  It was because of the way it was written.  I just feel he was grasping at straws for reasons why they didn't hire me instead of just saying, "We liked the other girl better."

This leads me to my blog title today: Handling Disappointment

Vent. You need to vent.  Be upset. Cry.  Let out your frustration.  Don't respond right away to the disappointment, but give yourself the night (in my case) or a day to be mad.  Talk to someone or a couple close friends about it, and let them encourage you and be there for you.  My sister is a blunt truth explosion.  Sometimes, I wish she could be a little softer with the truth, but I know for a fact that she isn't just saying nice things (because she literally hates flattery).  I know that what she says is truth, and for that reason, I talk with her about my life.  Be careful that you don't talk to the world though.  Everyone doesn't need to know how upset you are.  Talk to the people who will be there to help you move forward...eventually.

Don't let your emotions lead. Be careful to make sure that you give yourself time to be disappointed, but don't make any stupid emotional decisions during that time.  I am one emotional person, but one thing that I have had to learn is not to respond on the cusp of those emotions.  Give them time to play out before you hurt someone else or even yourself.  Don't allow yourself to respond in a way that you will regret later.  Examples: writing a defensive reply and sending it, calling and chewing out someone over the phone, having a loved one call for you, writing a mean blog

Edit. When it is finally time to respond, think before you act.  The pain won't go away in a night.  Residue lingers.   I still want to be defensive and shout from the rooftops, but more than that, I want to remain humbled and graceful.  So I will edit.  I believe that there is always a grain of truth to be harvested.  Use that truth to help you see beyond the slime.

Remember the positives. Think about what you do have and be grateful.  I still have a great job, I'm able to pay the bills, and I'm definitely able to enjoy life with my husband. Just because this one thing didn't come through doesn't mean that there isn't something greater waiting around the bend.  Through the process of these interviews/assessments, I was informed that a photographer position was coming open as well (something that I semi-went to school for and am doing on the side cool would it be to get a full-time job doing that?).  Who knows, maybe the door got shut on this position so that I could apply for that one.  We shall see.

This is how I handled my disappointment.  For me, it works.


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